Checking out the Playoffs

People of Cleveland – how much on a scale of 1 to Oh-Hell-Yes, would you want to “luckily” find yourself stuck in a UFC style ring with Joakim Noah? I’m somewhere around the 8.7 mark. More than that though, I'd love to do to Noah what Bron did to Johnson (immortalize forever via a basketball style beat-down), but on the other hand…wait...I guess there’s no argument for it, Joakim Noah deserves whatever he gets in this series for his disrespectful outburst. Derrick Rose though showed why he’s the leader of this Bulls team, when asked his opinion of Cleveland he simply said, “it’s different to Chicago for sure.” Rose quite conceivably doesn’t like Cleveland, but unlike our Sideshow-Bob-look-a-like-public-enemy-numero-uno, had the dignity and respect to say it otherwise. You stay classy Noah, and enjoy your long summer off…

 

Anyways, let’s take a look at what’s been going on in the playoffs...

Celtics - Heat:  In the East, with a closer Game One than I expected and without KG for Game Two, Miami looked poise for a road win. I honestly thought they’d do it and swing the home court advantage. Dwyane Wade did his bit, 11-18 FGs, 5-8 3pt-FGs and a game high 29 points. He also ended up with a minus-29 in the +/- box score. Funny eh? But yeah, with him lighting it up, all Miami needed was steady role play to achieve the unlikely. The other starting four, or as I’m now calling them, “The Wadettes”, combined to shoot 10-27 and tally 24 points. Glen Davis had 23 on his own. Ray Allen also shot the bajeesus out the ball, 7-9 from deep. Miami now face a real uphill battle not to get spanked silly in four. KG will be up for Game 3, the Celtics smell blood. For the Heat, too many smell sangria and sand for them to matter.

 

 

Hawks - Bucks:  In Atlanta, the Hawks did what was expected of them by winning both home games against the Bucks with room to spare. Game 2 was a joy to behold for Hawks lovers as they put on a clinic in team basketball. Three guys with 20 plus points, 26 assists, 22 fast break points and a near triple-double from Josh Smith. My seventh favorite non-Cavalier - Al Horford - continued his rapid ascent into the top spot in the argument “best NBA center not named Howard.” Both teams are shooting the three horribly, Game 2 both teams totalled 7 makes off 35 attempts. And that was without Josh Smith bricking shots from deep. 

Magic - Bobcats:  As for the Magic, they’re 2-0 against the disappointing Bobcats. How do you expect to be competitive Charlotte when you’re starting point guard, power forward and center tally 9 points on a 4-15 shooting nightmare. Stephen Jackson can’t do it all on his own. Dwight Howard managed to accumulate five fouls in last night’s game, a game where the Magic led by 20 at one point. That’s two games against starting center Theo Ratliff, ten fouls. Shaq must be licking his chops.

More on Cavs- Bulls tonight:  Cavs roll into the Chicago for Game 3 tonight against the unfortunate franchise that has Joakim Noah on its payroll. Nothing against the guy’s game, just the guy. Like Russell Crowe, a pain in the butt but can act the living crap out of a part. He’s the Hollywood version of our boy Noah. For us to win tonight we’re going to need other guys not named LeBron to step up and contribute. Mo Williams will be dubbed Maurice again if he plays like Game 2. We need to keep the Bulls of the glass, so maybe go small with Bron at the four and Andy in the middle more often? I’m sure our guys know what’s at stake tonight; a win ends the series as a contest. Motivation for tonight’s game shall be give to you in the form of clues: two syllables, girl’s haircut, twelve-year-old-boy-like facial hair, hates dancing but loves Billy Donovan. Any guesses? 

Out West...the Mavs and Suns have relinquished home court advantage. The Thunder realized they can’t win close games on the road, and the Jazz realized they can. That puts my previous predictions in serious danger in the West, thank God for the ever-predictable East.

 

Enjoy Game 3…

 

PS – my apologies if this blog entailed some serious Joakim Noah hatred. If you’re really that bothered about it, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you send your complaints to garner a full apology from yours truly. The over/under on emails I get regarding that, 0.5.